Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on the Kraft Music Hall tonight. He’s not as good as his brother of course, but he’ll do until another Bing Crosby comes along. I wish Bob Hope could be Bob Crosby’s guest just once before Bing returns. I can just imagine what the two Bob’s would have to say about Bing. If anyone should know all about him, they should be the ones. One of them is his brother and the other is one of his best friends. O-o-o, what they could tell! But I’ve come to the conclusion that Bob isn’t going to appear on any show other than his own!

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Dear Diary,

Tonight was Bing Crosby’s last show of the season, so at the end of the program he called up brother Bob, who will sub for Bing, to help Mary announce next weeks guests. Then Bing, with about two minutes to spare (and he needed every bit of it) said, “Well, so long. Be of good cheer. Farewell. Take good care of yourselves. Love each other. Adios.” Bob, Mary Martin, Ken Carpenter, and John Scott Trotter, in unison, said, “G’bye.” Bing said, “Every year I get the same enthusiastic farewell. I tell you, it’s heartwarming.” Well, even if they won’t miss you, Bing, I will. I hope you and Bob Hope get in several nice solid games of golf during the summer. Bob needs it for that pot of his.

Dear Diary,

I heard today that ┬áBob Crosby will replace brother Bing on the summer show. That’s certainly an improvement oer last summer’s KMH master of ceremonies – Don Ameche. Bob Crosby was the guest maestro on the Fitch Band Wagon today and he and Toby Reed talked the situation over. Bob said he might replace him for the summer, but he could never take his place. To prove it, he read one of his recent fan letters which asked him for a picture of Bing. Fine thing. That sounds ┬álike a letter Bob Hope might write. But Bobby would reverse the procedure. He’s write to Bing and ask for Bob Crosby’s picture.

Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on KMH tonight, because Bing and Bob Hope are still “charitying,” but Bing will be back on his program next week. On the other hand, Bob Hope will continue his tour of army camps and other volunteer service work until the end of the season. Gosh, his poor family! By the time the season is over it will have been over a month since he left California. He must miss them a lot, because last Tuesday he closed the show with “Good-night, Linda,” and he very seldom does that. In fact, I think it’s about the fourth time he’s ever done it. Pretty soon Tony will be getting old enough to know who’s speaking to him on the radio and Bob will direct his “Good-nights” to him.

Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on KMH tonight so Bing could join the Victory Caravan, headed for Dallas. Bob said at the end of the program that unless he got a nasty letter from Bing, he would be on the show again next week.

In the meantime Bing and Bob Hope did all right in Chicago. They made over $2,000 in their golf match, although they had to call the game at the ninth hole to rehearse for the show that night. The show that night drew in $90,000. Most of it was from admission tickets, and the rest came from the sale of kisses by the stars. One woman paid $500 for a kiss from Bob Hope. Oh, for $500!

Dear Diary,

Bing Crosby had several guests tonight and one of them was the Texan that President Roosevelt talked about last Tuesday. Another guest was Gene Tunney, so they naturally talked about sports. Gene asked, “What’s your favorite sport, Bing?” Bing replied, “Oh, I caddy for Bob Hope.”

I also learned on Bing’s show tonight that he will be here May 11. Up until now his appearance wasn’t certain, but just a possibility. But tonight, when he announced next week’s guests, he said Bob, the “hep” Crosby, would take his place next week. He didn’t say anything about the tour, but in Bing’s language that means he’ll be here. In fact he didn’t actually say he wouldn’t be on the show next week, but I’ used to his way of saying things by now.

Dear Diary,

Bing Crosby was still absent from the Kraft Music Hall, and Mickey Rooney attempted to take his place again. But even thought Crosby wasn’t there, Crosby was one of the guests. Maybe I’d better explain myself. Bing Crosby, alias Gravelthroat, was not there, but Bob Crosby, alias Hepcat, was one of the guests. If they hadn’t announced that it was Bob nobody would have known it wasn’t Bing, because they sho ’nuff sound alike. You know, I often wonder if any of Bob Hope’s brothers have a voice like Bob’s. After all, Bing and Bob Crosby sound alike, Don and Jim Ameche sound alike, Clifton and William Fadiman sound alike, so why shouldn’t Bob and Fred or Jim or Jack or Syd or Ivor or George Hope sound alike? I also wonder if Bing’s other brothers, Everett, Ted, and Larry sound like Bing (Harry) and Bob (George).

Dear Diary,

I saw “Sis Hopkins” at the Texas today. There were a lot of my favorite people in the picture, including Jerry Colonna, Elvia (Cobina) Allman and Bob Crosby. Colonna should be right at home with Crosby because he (Colonna) used to play in brother Bing’s band, until Bob Hope got wind of him as a promising bit of stuff for comedy on Hope’s radio show.