Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Madeleine Carroll and Stirling Hayden have begun a long-delayed honeymoon. Golly, what’s Bob Hope doing to do now. He can’t publicly chase a married woman, as he has been doing with Mady. I guess he’ll have to stick strictly so such gals as Hedy Lamarr, Paulette Goddard, and Dottie Lamour – at least until those fair damsels get hitched (again). Bob may surprise everyone and start talking about his wife. After all, he could have done much, much worse than he did. Mrs. H. is a might pretty gal to have for a wife.

 

Dear Diary,

Well, today was April Fool’s Day, but I didn’t have anything pulled on me, thank goodness. According to Bob Hope, last night he had quite a few jokes pulled on him. He said, “Someone sent me a note telling me to meet them under the big tree on Main Street at 8:00 tonight, and they signed it Hedy Lamarr. Of course I knew it was only an April Fool’s gag, so I didn’t wait very long. And besides, the mailman came by and took me home.

“They tried to fool me over at the Paramount too, but I knew what they were doing. They said they weren’t going to pick up my option, and I laughed so hard I fell off my knees.”

I got four or five new pictures of Bob Hope, today, and several articles about him too.

Dear Diary,

I don’t think I ever heard anything as crazy as those two nuts, Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, were tonight. Hedy Lamarr couldn’t decide which of the two she wanted, so while she was trying to decide, Bob and Bing had to sleep together. Naturally they started arguing. Bing (alias Henry) said, “You’d probably do anything to get her. Why you even look like the kind of a guy who’d joke about Bing Crosby’s horses.” Bob (alias Bill) replied, “Oh, no, I have more respect for the dead than that.” The two of them finally decided that she’d never make up her mind alone, so they decided to force her to make a decision. Henry said, “Dear we’ve decided that you’ve just been playing with us like an octapuss plays with—Uh, Bill, what does an octapuss play with?” Bill replied, “Another octapuss.”

P.S. She never did decide.

Dear Diary,

Gee, is Texas getting a lot of publicity lately. Deep in the Heart of Texas is second on the Hit Parade now. I’ve been keeping account and I’ve heard it on the radio ten times this week by just listening to the programs I always hear. I’ll bet if Bob Hope sang it on his program it would be first pretty soon (maybe.) Oh yes, speaking of Bob Hope, I’m just wondering what’s going to happen on that poor Gulf Screen Guild Theater tomorrow when Bob, Bing Crosby, and Hedy Lamarr take over in the play, “Too Many Husbands.” That’s going to be hot stuff. I’m just trying to figure out which one of the two will turn out to be “excess” baggage.

Dear Diary,

I was calmly sitting by my radio today, listening to the closing announcements on the Gulf Screen Guild Theater. Joan Bennett and Robert Young were the guests, and they were talking to Roger Pryor. Joan said, “Roger, is is true what they’re saying about you? You’ve heard about it haven’t you, Bob?” Bob replied, “Yes, I have, but I didn’t want to mention anything about it until I made sure.” Finally Roger said, “Gee whiz, what on earth are you two talking about?” Joan said, “Why, Roger, you know what we mean. And if it’s true, I want to be the first to congratulate you. We have heard that next week your guests will be Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, and Hedy Lamarr.” That was a complete surprise to me. I knew he was supposed to be on the Silver Theater in a few weeks, but I didn’t know about this.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope and Hedy Lamarr were the guests on the Lux Radio Theatre tonight in “The Bride Came C.O.D.” I read some time ago that Bob was Hedy’s favorite movie star. In fact C.B. deMille said tonight that when he asked Hedy who she wanted for a leading man she had turned down Clark Gable and insisted on Bob. And everyone knows how Bob feels about Hedy, so what a show that was! After the play was over Bob and Hedy talked for a while. Bob asked Hedy if she would go out with him New Year’s Eve. Hedy, “Why yes, I guess so, Bob. What have you passes for?”

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope and Rita Hayworth were on Lux Radio Theatre tonight after the play. They were given silver trophies for being the two most photogenerous stars. Not only that, but it was announced that Bob Hope and Hedy Lamarr would be guests on the Lux Radio Theatre in the play “The Bride Came C.O.D.”. Imagine! That’ll mean that Bob Hope kidnaps Hedy Lamarr. I’ll bet he wouldn’t mind. I mean, really!

Hedda Hopper said today that Bing Crosby and Bob Hope are planning that benefit golf tour through Texas that they postponed ten months ago.

Dear Diary,

From Sheila Graham’s column this morning: “When I first came to Hollywood, the one person visitors wanted to see above all others was Shirley Temple. A year ago, they wanted to see Hedy Lamarr. Six months ago, it was Mickey Rooney. Now they say, ‘We want to see Bob Hope.’ If Bob’s name is unlisted on the new ten-best-at-the-box-office, I’ll be very surprised.”

(Me too!)