The last and best was the imitation of the presidents of Vitalis Dandruff Remover and Fitch Shampoo companies. While they talked the kept brushing their collars and shaking their coats, then Bob turned around and Bing brushed his coat and Ging turned around and Bob brushed his coat. Bob said, “Got much time?” Bing replied, “Oh, about 60 seconds.” Bob said, “Sixty seconds? Well some on!” and they began scrubbing each other’s heads. Bing called Bob “Chisle chin” as he left the stage, and Bob yelled, “So long Dumbo! Don’t go too fast or you’ll take off, with those ears. (By the way, Bing was actually dressed up!) Bob said that when he was in Washington, D.C., he found out what the D.C. stands for. Damned crowded! When Pat O’Brien walked out and said, “Hello, Texas,” I knew he was talking to me because he called me “Texas” last summer. Pat did several dramatic sketches and then did an Irish song and jig, and for an encore he and Bob did the jig together. Bob said, “Well, whatta you know! The’ve even got an Irish Conga!” (I’m running out of room, so will continue elsewhere.)

Bob introduced Cary Grant as one of Hollywood’s handsomest, best dressed leading men. Cary walked out on the stage and said, “Why, thanks, Bob. It’s sweet of you say that, because I have always thought of you as one of Hollywood’s handsomest, best-dressed men.” Bob said, “Do you really think so, Cary?” Cary replied, “Look, I learned my lines, I read my lines. Now don’t try to confuse me!” Bob said, “You’d better watch out there, Grant, or I’ll hide your curling iron tonight.” Cary said, “Yeah, and ditto with your girdle.” Then Bob started sulking and said, “Is that any way to treat me after all I’ve done for you? After all, what would you have done if I hadn’t loaned you my underwear today when you sent yours to the laundry?” Cary said, “You’re right, Bob. I’m sorry. It was mighty swell of you to lend me your underwear, but every once in a while the lace tickles.” Bob walked up to Cary and started feeling the material in his suit and examining it (a dark blue pin-striped suit). He finally said, “Isn’t it remarkable the designs they can print on Kleenex?” For once Cary had no reply.

When Bob first introduced Bing and started off the stage so Bing could sing, Bing yelled at him and said, “Oh, by the way, Hope, your laundry came back today. They refused it.” Bob threw him the dirtiest look I ever saw and walked the rest of the way off the stage. For Desi Arnaz’ second number he used a big conga drum about three feet long, and shaped something like this:line drawing of a conga drum that looks a little like a waffle cone. Bob brought it out to him and said, “What’ll you have—chocolate or vanilla?”

Naturally Bob talked about the California weather. He said, “This Texas weather is grand, but it just can’t compare with California weather. The weather out there is so invigorating that the caretakers have to walk around the graveyards all the time saying, “Come on now, fellas, lie down!”

Once Bob started across the stage carrying an open umbrella. Cary Grant started from the opposite side with an umbrella under his arm. Bob turned around, looked at Cary, held out his hand, shrugged his shoulders, closed the umbrella, and walked off without a single word.

What a show!

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Dear Diary,

Because of the open house at Sunset tonight I didn’t hear all of Bing Crosby’s program. The part I missed would have to be the first part, because during that time there are such attractions a Jerry Lester, Victor Borge, Pat O’Brien, and the funniest stuff Bing does all evening. All I heard was the dull, uninteresting last half, which usually presents the duller, more serious quests. I wouldn’t have minded so much except that in the first part of the program is when Bing talks about my friend (and his) Bob Hope, if he mentions him at all. Besides, we didn’t have a very good time anyway. (Jean, Mrs. White, Mother and I all went together.)

Dear Diary,

Jack Haley was Bob Hope’s guest tonight. They did a vaudeville act that was absolutely terrific. They sang a duet that would have been beautiful (except for the words) if they had tried, but as they did it, it was the funniest (and corniest) thing I have ever heard. Jack and Bob, commonly known as Haley and Staley, are just about as good as Bob and Pat O’Brien.

Cecil B. de Mille was an unexpected guest tonight. He presented Bob with a scroll from the Motion Picture Daily naming Bob not only the best comedian on the air, but also the champion of champions in radio. DeMille called it the greatest tribute that could be paid a radio performer. After C.B.’s beautiful speech, all Bob could say was, “Whew!”

Dear Diary,

1941, without a doubt, has been one of the most eventful years that I can remember. Not only such things as the U.S. declaration of war on the Axis, and vice versa (is that the way to spell it?), but also in smaller ways—like my meeting Pat O’Brien, for instance. Or like my getting the nerve, after all these years, to send Bob Hope a yo-yo, and believe me, that took nerve whether you think so or not. Every once in a while I get to wishing I hadn’t done it, but I did done it, so I suppose it’s a little late to start worrying about it now. After all, who is this guy Bob Hope that he gets me so flustered? He’s no better than anybody else. (Am I kidding?)

There’s no telling how many (51) times I’ve heard Bob on the air or seen him in pictures this past year, but I’d be willing to bet that I did both of them a lot more than the Average American Girl—or anybody else for that matter. I’m telling you there’s nobody who could possibly feel the way I do about Bob. I wouldn’t be foolish or childish enough to call it love, but it’s the closest I’ve come to it up to now, and I like it.

To get away from such stuff as that for a while, I will refrain from mentioning Bob Hope’s name for a few seconds—a very few seconds—and talk about more serious things, such as the war. About all I can say on the subject is a lot of talk that’s been said over and over again, so I don’t guess that would be very interesting. Since I can’t say anything about Bob Hope or the war, about all there is left to say is this: In 1942 may the United Nations hit Hitler, muss Mussolini, and set the Rising Sun.

Dear Diary,

Pat O’Brien was Bob Hope’s guest tonight, and same as last time, they were terrif together. They even sang a couple of songs like they did the last time Pat was Bob’s guest. In Bob’s skit he and Pat did a program for a finance company. Bob said, “Remember, if you need money, try us. And if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and then stop—there’s no use being silly about it.” When Pat was first introduced, he said, “Hello, Bob. What’s cooking?” Bob said, “Oh, nothing—it always smells like that around here.” Madeleine Carroll will be Bob’s guest next week.

Dear Diary,

Gee! After Bob Hope’s show tonight, that’s all I have energy enough to say. He was really super tonight, and I even enjoyed Betty Hutton. I think that tonight Bob said one of the cutest things he has ever said. Maybe it was just the way it struck me, but it sure struck me funny. He was trying to say, “I just cut Latin class to go to the burlesque show,” but all he could say was, “I just cutin Lat—I lutin catin—Gee, I’m sharp as a marble tonight.”

Pat O’Brien will be his guest next week.

Dear Diary,

I started a list today of the notables I have seen in person. Of course I started the list with Bob Hope and Pat O’Brien. So far I have thought of thirty-one people, but I imagine if I think hard enough I can add a few more names to a long list. Some of the people on the list aren’t so well known to a lot of people as they are to me, but that makes no dif to me.

Dear Diary,

I certainly got a nice surprise today. When I got home from school today, what was waiting for me but an autographed picture of Bob Hope. It’s a very good picture of him and I’m really proud of it. I didn’t sent for it, but Betty Lou wrote him a fan letter not long ago and asked him to send us both a picture. I really didn’t expect anything to happen, but he surprised me. Now I am going to write “thank you ” letters to both Bob and Pat O’Brien.

Dear Diary,

This is the first month in a long time that I haven’t heard Bob Hope even once. I’ll hear him next month plenty though so I’m not terribly worried.

I’ve had a better time this month than I’ve had since last September, almost a year ago, when I saw Bob Hope in person. I’m speaking, of course, of the little incident that happened Saturday, August 30. That’s the first time I was ever on the air, but what a way to make my debut! Over an NBC coast to coast hook-up with Pat O’brien and Ken Carpenter!

Dear Diary,

I’m still excited over yesterday. I can hardly believe it happened, but I have two large pictures, personally autographed by Pat O’Brien, to prove it. In one of the pictures, Pat is singing and Ken Carpenter is leaning on the back of my chair with a card in his hand. That’s how I found out who handed me the card. I got his autograph in my book after the program was over. In the second picture I’m shaking hands with Pat O’brien.

I bought several magazines today and they all had pictures of Bob Hope in them. One of them had the complete story of “Nothing But the Truth.” Another had one picture and part of the story from “Louisiana Purchase.”

Dear Diary,

We went to Del Mar early today, because I wanted to see, as well  as hear, the quiz program. Bing Crosby left for Argentina yesterday so Pat O’Brien took his place on the program. Well, I not only saw the program, but I answered a question, the judges picked my answer as best, and the next thing I knew I was walking down a long corridor to where Pat O’Brien was waiting to sing for the winner. I sat in the seat of honor, and in the middle of Pat’s chorus I asked a question that was on a card some man handed me. The man patted me on the shoulder after I read it, and said I did swell. I found out later that “the man” was Ken Carpenter.

I didn’t see Bob Hope at the races, but that was more than made up for.

Dear Diary,

There was a picture in the Times Herald today of Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Pat O’Brien, and Ann Sheridan. It was taken at a benefit. Bob Hope and Pat O’Brien were in black-face. Gosh, Bob looked natural! Ann Sheridan was kissing Pat O’Brien. Bob was looking at them and Bing Crosby was just looking dopey, as usual.

Dear Diary,

I listened to Bob Hope on the radio tonight. His guest was Pat O’Brien. They gave a short old-time vaudeville show and it was certainly funny. They sang two duets and Bob Hope sure has a good voice, as I’ve noticed before, of course.