Dear Diary,

There was an article in this month’s Reader’s Digest about Jack White, co-owner of the Club 18 in New York. His policy is that the customer always wrong. He has insulted some of the best-known people in the country, and always gets the best of his verbal opponents. He called Bob Hope to the floor one night and challenged him to a verbal duel. Bob tried hard, and did as well as anyone had ever domes against White, but even Bob had to give up when White said, “Here, use my microphone. It’s funnier.” — And Jack White is without enemies! What a man!

Dear Diary,

There was a little bit about Bob Hope in the new Readers Digest that came out today, but I had already read it because it formerly appeared in the American Magazine. It was about the method Bob used is getting his first big studio audience—he roped them in from the Charlie McCarthy–Edgar Bergen show. I’ll bet if there were any roping necessary now, it would be just exactly the other way around. Imagine Bob Hope having to steal another comedian’s audience! It just shows what a great change a few years can bring about. Bob never needed ropes to get an audience after that first time, but sometimes they use ropes to keep audiences (or mobs?) away from him. (And I do mean me, at the golf tournament.)