Dear Diary,

Skinnay Ennis was the guest on the Fitch Band Wagon today. It was only natural that he talked about Bob Hope a lot. He told a cute story about something that happened in Houston while they were there with the Victory Caravan. It was on Tuesday night, so Bob had to take time out to give his weekly broadcast for the soldiers at Ellington Field. The two auditoriums are in the same building, and separated only by a heavy curtain. So, Bob sneaked all the stars of the Caravan over to his own show before it went on the air. The soldiers got a free show which would regularly have cost several dollars.

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Dear Diary,

I got dozens of pictures of Bob Hope today. Well, I got ten pictures of him, plus two articles about him. Most of the pictures were from the Victory Caravan, and they showed him in the Mussolini costume he wore in his act part of the time. I had seen so many pictures of him in that particular costume and I had heard so much about the act that I could hardly wait to see it. Then that little so-and-so had to go and change his act. I didn’t get to see him in the uniform after all.

Boy, did I do something unusual for me tonight. I took the first in a series of eight dancing lessons. Me, of all people!

 

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope was in Quantico, (Is that the way to spell it?) Virginia, tonight, at a marine base. He’s staying in Washington, so naturally he talked about it all evening. He pulled that gag that he used on the Victory Caravan about finding out what D.C. stands for. Tonight he said, “Darned Crowded,” but those aren’t the words he used May 11. They were just a tiny bit stronger than that. Bob didn’t have a guest tonight, but won’t he be happy next week! Madeleine Carroll yet! Bob was talking to Frances Langford about the girls in Washington and Frances said, “Bob, you should be able to get a date with some nice girl here.” Bob said, “Yes, I did, but every time I got close to her, she’d move away. It was just no soap.” Fran: “How come?” Bob: “No soap!” Bob was talking about Crosby and said, “I should have given him another lift. Bing isn’t used to such speed.” (See preceding page)

Dear Diary,

Well what do you know? Here it’s been a week since I saw Bob Hope and the rest of the Victory Caravan, and it doesn’t seem as though it’s been half that long. I can still look back and remember little details (looks thrown around among the cast, words treated likewise, etc.) that I couldn’t remember a week after I saw Bob the first time. However, don’t get me wrong. I still remember a great deal about that first show, and I don’t suppose I’ll ever forget all of it. The two things in particular that I’ll never forget are the stunts in which he had Sam Goldwyn on the floor and when he walked around Bruce Cabot, snarling at his full-dress suit. Oh that guy!

Dear Diary,

Bert Lahr was Charlie McCarthy’s guest today. Naturally he made me think about the Victory Caravan, and when I think about the Caravan, I think about Bob Hope. (Didn’t you know that was coming?) Bert had just been kicked by Charlie’s kangaroo, and he was there complaining. He said, “There I was, walking along the street, happy and contemptable, —” That guy kills me. And that singing of his is enough to kill anyone.

I was alone most of the day today, because Mother and Daddy went to Hughes Springs. I had a pretty good time, though. I have a gallon of home work, but I’ve done everything but homework all day today. I a ba-a-a-d girl.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope broadcast from Ellington Field, Houston, tonight. His guest was Joan Bennett. Bob pulled several gags tonight that he used last night, but tonight was their first time on the air. One of them was, “I was having a swell time kissing all those beautiful girls on the Victory Caravan, until Charles Boyer pulled a nasty trick. He told them he was Charles Boyer.” Bob entertained the navy last week and the army this week, so he said, “You know, there’s really not much difference in soldiers and sailors. When a man whistles at a girl and she slaps their face, that’s a sailor. But when a man whistles at a girl and she throws her arms around his neck—get me her phone number, will you?” His whole show was about Texas, but I’ll have to wait ’til Saturday to tell about it, when I hear the show by short wave.

Dear Diary,

There were simply gobs of pictures of Bob Hope and the other Victory Caravan stars in the papers today. There were big write-ups and all sorts of articles on the show. The stars will arrive at about two o-clock tomorrow, and their only public appearance outside of the show tomorrow night will be the very short parade from the train station to the hotels, because they have to rehearse and get a little rest before the show tomorrow night. I hope Bob goes to bed when he gets to the hotel. I don’t want him any sicker than he already is.

Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on KMH tonight so Bing could join the Victory Caravan, headed for Dallas. Bob said at the end of the program that unless he got a nasty letter from Bing, he would be on the show again next week.

In the meantime Bing and Bob Hope did all right in Chicago. They made over $2,000 in their golf match, although they had to call the game at the ninth hole to rehearse for the show that night. The show that night drew in $90,000. Most of it was from admission tickets, and the rest came from the sale of kisses by the stars. One woman paid $500 for a kiss from Bob Hope. Oh, for $500!

Dear Diary,

Golly, Bob Hope was swell tonight. The show was broadcast from the Great Lakes Naval Training Station tonight, and next week he will broadcast from Ellington Field, Houston. That will be the second in a series of seven trips to army, navy, and marine stations throughout the country. The guy is so sick he can hardly talk, but I’ll bet no one gets him in bed. Once he laughed pretty hard, and it must have hur him because he said, “I hope my agent gets 10% of this throat.” About the Caravan he said, “I was sitting between Merle Oberon and Olivia de Havilland on the train.” Claudette Colbert said, “Yes, but I noticed you didn’t say much.” Bob replied, “Well, I couldn’t. Every time I opened my mouth, smoke came out!”

 

Dear Diary,

Well President Roosevelt did it again. He talked on the radio at nine o’clock tonight, so naturally Bob Hope wasn’t on. And after he had postponed his departure on the Victory Caravan tour just to give his show tonight at Long Beach. Elsie Janis was scheduled to be his guest. Bob may just save tonight’s script and give the same show next week, but he’ll be in the east and his guest, Elsie Janis, will be in California, unless she decides to go with the caravan, so I don’t guess Bob will do that. I don’t mind so much the fact that I didn’t hear Bob tonight, but I do mind the fact that Bob had to put in hours of work and energy on this week’s show and then still have to charter a special plane to Washington.

Dear Diary,

Hedda Hopper was talking about the Victory Caravan today. She said she heard Bob Hope and Jerry Colonna rehearsing a telephone conversation in which Bob is supposed to be Mussolini trying to get Hitler on the phone. (He never does.) Then she went into detail about Bob’s plans for the next two or three weeks. She said he would take his entire radio show with him to eight major cities  on the route, act as master of ceremonies for all performances of the Caravan, take his radio show to army camps while on the tour, and come back immediately to start work in a Sam Goldwyn picture. (She named other things, too, but I can’t remember them all.) She called it the most ambitious program ever undertaken by a Hollywood personality.