Wednesday, April 21, 1943

Dear Diary,

It took me four years, but today it finally happened! Bob played golf at the Dallas Country Club today for the benefit of the Red Cross. There was a cute show before the match started, and at that show three autographed golf balls were auctioned off at five thousand dollars each, and a song by the Ink Spots got 35 thousand. There were several other celebrities there, including Jerry Colonna and Ben Hogan. Then they started the game, which covered 18 holes and lasted about 2½ hours. Bob, as usual, pulled a gag every time he opened his mouth, which was constantly. Most of them were insulting his golf game, such as, “I have four caddies – one to carry the clubs and three to carry me. My golf bag is a little heavy. It holds 12 clubs and a stomach pump. Every time I miss a shot I take poison.” He did so darn many cute things, especially on the platform before the game, that I’d like to record it all, but I must get down to what happened to me. After the game was over, Bob really went after the money. He auctioned a song by Jerry Colonna, a trombone solo by same, four bars of “Thanks For the Memory,” (that’s all he knew), a song by his guitarist, Tony Romano, Ben Hogan’s sweater, and anything else he could get his hands on. He was selling his autograph for anywhere from $18.75 to $500. I managed to push my way up to the platform, and with a little help I got up on it. I walked up to Mr. Jester, who had sponsored the show, and told him I’d buy a $10,000 bond for Bob’s autograph. (Daddy had given me the check from the company.) He took the check to Bob, who was at the microphone, and said, “Muriel Windham has $10,000 for your autograph.” Bob said, “Ten thousand dollars! Well come right up here, Muriel.” He then repeated my name and the amount into the microphone and signed the envelope the check had been in. I didn’t see this, but Mother told me later that when I first went up, Bob acted as if he were going to kiss me, then looked down as if to say, “No, I’d better not do that.” Then he raised his hand up to my face, again as if he were going to kiss me, and again he dropped his hand. He then leaned over and said to me under his breath, “I’m staying at the Dallas Athletic Club.” After introducing Jerry Colonna’s trombone solo, Bob walked over to me and actually kissed me on the forehead! That’s what took four years but finally happened, and it was worth waiting for. Several times after that he walked over and said one or two words to me and a great many times he stood right beside me and signed autographs. Things began to get a little slow about that time, so Bob started auctioning his sweater, hat, tie, and socks. Earl Jones was on that platform, and punched Bob and said, “How about giving your shirt to this girl who bought the $10,000 bond?” Bob smiled and said, “She’s been up here, hasn’t she?” Earl said, “Yeah, but for $10,000 she ought to get more than an autograph.” Bob replied, “Shirt, heck, I’ll give her my suit!” Naturally he didn’t come through since he was already calling himself Gypsy Rose Hope. He had to put on a spare jacket to keep from catching pneumonia. He finally broke things up by announcing that he had to attend two cocktail parties, where he hoped to sell a great many more bonds. And I’ll bet he does it too. As he was going off the platform he stopped in front of me, gave me a melting look in that famous way of his, patted me on the cheek, and said, “Good-by, you.” Then and there I was determined to go home and cut my toenails, because when my toes curled up, I stabbed myself.

Now I know that five is my lucky number, since this was the fifth, and definitely the best, time I’ve seen Bob. I thought I was doing good in 1942 to see Bob twice in three months, but now I’ve seen him twice in the last three days, and I like it much better that way! It seems that every time I see him he gets cuter and I like him better, if that could be. It also seems that every time I see him it gets a little more personal (very little.) The first time, I just watched him on the stage. The second time, I watched him play golf, and got pretty close to him several times. The third time, I saw him on the stage again, but it was a longer show, and afterwards I got those pieces of a letter that Bob threw away. The fourth time, day before yesterday, I went into his bedroom, got his autograph, and talked to him later. I guess I needn’t go into what happened today.

Incidentally, I still don’t know how the score came out. However, I imagine Bob and his partner won, since Bob played pretty good golf, and since his partner was Ben Hogan.