Dear Diary,

I heard Bob Hope on the air one time this month. It would have been twice if I hadn’t missed that program last Saturday night. I don’t believe I ever had anything to disappoint as much as that did.

I saw Bob in “My Favorite Blonde” three times this month, making a total of nine times in all. That raised the average number of times I’ve seen his last eight pictures seven and three fourths. I’ve go to raise that to at least eight, and I’m going to trie my best to make it nine.

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Dear Diary,

On the “Amos ‘N Andy” show today, Andy was telling Amos about meeting Bob Hope yesterday. Andy said, “Every time Hope said something funny, I’d top him and say something funnier.” The the Kingfish came in and told Amos how Andy just stood there with his mouth hanging open and kept calling Bob “Mr. Pope,” because he was so excited he didn’t know what he was saying. That sounds just a little more like the truth, as Amos himself remarked. I wish they would do that sort of thing more often. I imagine Amos and Andy will be Bob’s guest next fall.

Dear Diary,

Gee, it was good to hear Bob Hope on the radio again. Any and the Kingfish said they wanted to be sure there was some important star in “Star-Spangled Rhythm” to kind of carry the quartet along. Bob said, “Well, there’s Bing Crosby, and I’m in the picture myself. Then there’s Dorothy Lamour, Paulette Goddard, Veronica Lake, Mary Martin, Eddie Bracken, Rochester, —” The Kingfish said, “Oh, Rochester’s in it. Then it’s okay. We wanted to be sure there was some big star in it, so the boys wouldn’t be put in a B picture.” Bob added there was already one good quartet in Hollywood—Bing Crosby’s.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope will be guest on the “Amos ‘N Andy” show tomorrow. He will be worked into the script in stead of appearing as a guest star. The Golden Gate Quartet has been their guest for the last three days. The Kingfish, as their agent has gotten them an interview with a representative from Paramount, who wants to sign a Negro quartet for the new Paramount picture, “Star-Spangled Rhythm.” Bob Hope will probably play the part of the Paramount representative “Star-Spangled Rhythm” is the all-star picture in which practically every big name at Paramount has a part. That includes Bob, of course.

Dear Diary,

I found the following article in the paper this afternoon:

When Samuel Goldwyn sent a coy of the script of his latest movie, “They Got Me Covered,” starring Comedian Bob Hope, to F B I headquarters, in Washington, D. C., he asked if there was any objection to showing Axis agents roaming all over the nation’s capital.

F B I officials wired back: “The script seems o. k. Anything can happen in a Bob Hope picture.”

They’re not kidding, either. Anything can, and usually does, happen in Bob Hope pictures.

Seven more Hopeless Tuesdays.

Dear Diary,

Disappointment number one has been remedied. In other words, Hedda Hopper sent me a copy of her “My Hat’s Off to You” tribute to Bob Hope. It is really swell. As a rule she ends by saying, “And so my hat’s off to you, — —,” but she ended this one by saying, “My hat isn’t just off to you, Bob. My hat is YOURS!” It was awfully nice of her to send me a copy of it, and I’m certainly going to write her and tell her so. A thing like that encourages a person to write fan letters. I might even get up enough courage to write Bob Hope. I haven’t had the strength to do it yet.

Dear Diary,

Jimmie Fidler told a cute story about Bob Hope tonight. He said, “Bob Hope surprised a waiter recently by ordering a piece of Mussolini cake. The waiter, rather taken aback by the request, replied that the restaurant didn’t serve anything like that. Bob said, ‘Sure, you sever it, but you probably know it by another name. You probably call it crumb cake.'”

I saw “My Favorite Blonde” for the ninth, and probably the last, time today. I just saw it once today, because I went rather late in the afternoon. But who knows? I may go again tomorrow.

Dear Diary,

I called Betty Lou this morning, and she said that the short subject at the Rialto while I was at the farm was the “Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood” short subject that had Bob Hope’s radio program for April 28 in it. That’s the second time I’ve missed something about him recently. The third, and worst, came tonight after I got home from the show (and what a lousy show). I picked up the paper and read that two hours earlier Bob had been on a radio program called “Soldiers With Wings” with Jerry Colonna and various other Hope companions An he even sang a song! Oh, woe is me! My luck is getting awful.

Dear Diary,

Hedda Hopper said today that Danny Kaye is in Hollywood waiting to be cast in a picture. She said she hoped they would team him with Bob Hope, because they would make a great team. I don’t know much about Danny Kaye, but I at least one half of the team would be great.

I read an article by Dorothy Kilgallen, called “If I Were the Queen of Hollywood.” She said first of all that Bob Hope would be her court jester. Later in the article she said, “I’d have Dorothy Lamour wear the old sweater and cap and let Bing Crosby and Bob Hope wear the sarong.” No! Keep Bob in that black sweater!

Dear Diary,

I heard on the radio today that Bob Hope’s name in “They Got Me Covered” is Robert Kitridge. My, what an original name for Bob – Robert. I don’t know how they ever thought of it. Bob plays a foreign correspondent in Russia who is sent back to Washington because he wasn’t doing a very good job. If Bob Hope does a bad job on anything, it will really be acting be he isn’t made that way.

Mother and I got home from Hughes Springs today at about 3:00. I wanted to wee “The Magnificent Andrew” today, but I got in too late.

Dear Diary,

There was an article in this month’s Reader’s Digest about Jack White, co-owner of the Club 18 in New York. His policy is that the customer always wrong. He has insulted some of the best-known people in the country, and always gets the best of his verbal opponents. He called Bob Hope to the floor one night and challenged him to a verbal duel. Bob tried hard, and did as well as anyone had ever domes against White, but even Bob had to give up when White said, “Here, use my microphone. It’s funnier.” — And Jack White is without enemies! What a man!

Dear Diary,

How time does crawl when you’re waiting for something! There are still eight more Tuesday nights to struggle through before Bob Hope comes back on the air. I didn’t hear “A Date With Judy” tonight, because Mother, Daddy, and I went to Caddo Lake late this afternoon to see Uncle Howard’s daughter. She runs a tourist camp on the lake, and severs the best fish dinners I eve put in my mouth. I ate three fish, plus all the tomatoes, potatoes, tea, cornbread, and all the other good things that went with it.

Dear Diary,

Mother and I went to East Texas to see Daddy Pat this afternoon. I hated to leave that certain picture of a certain Mr. Bob Hope, but I was afraid something would happen to it down there, so I left it on my desk. I often wonder if, after I’m asleep, he doesn’t come out of that post and lie down. I know I’d get tired if I had to spend years learning on one arm, even if it did just happen to be in a picture.

Mother and I arrived at Hughes Springs at 7:30 this evening. We didn’t start ’til 3:30.

Dear Diary,

I’ve got it bad, and that ain’t good. Every time I look at that picture of Bob Hope on my desk, it gets better and better, and I get it worse and worse. two years ago I would have said, “Sure, Bob’s my favorite movie star, but a year from now I won’t even know he ever existed.” But look at me now. Every page in this diary has something about him on it. I realize I’m just being silly about it, but I never did care for any boy in particular and now I’m just disposing lavishly of my emotions on that homely mutt.

Dear Diary,

I started to go see Bob Hope in “My Favorite Blonde” today, but Mother threatened my life if I did. So just to be on the safe side, I went to the Majestic and saw “Juke Girl.” It was good, but I didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I would have enjoyed seeing “My Favorite Blonde” to or three times more. I’m going to see it when it comes out the the Rosewin anyway. Of course, Mother doesn’t know that. I saw “Caught in the Draft” ten times, and I didn’t like it as much as I like this one, so I’ll see it at least ten times.

Dear Diary,

Golly, am I mad. “My Favorite Blonde” was on the radio tonight on the P. M. Playhouse, and who was playing Bob Hope’s part? Milton Berle of all people! And they used the script practically word for word, and nobody followed the movie script any more closely than Berle. I knew he was famous for swiping gags, but I didn’t know he’s just come right out in the open like that. It just isn’t being done in the better circles (and Berle’s are under his eyes.) Imagine anyone trying to take the place of a guy like Bob Hope—”My Favorite Blonde” starring Milt Berle, My Favorite (?) Goon.

Dear Diary,

Some people have all the breaks. Sam Goldwyn has been looking for six Washington secretaries to appear in the new Bob Hope picture, “They Got Me Covered.” One of the first girls chosen was Mary Byrne from Dallas. Can you imagine such lucy? She goes to Washington, gets a job a secretary (probably at about $150 a month), and winds up in Hollywood making a picture with none other than Bob Hope! Oh well, I’ll make up for lost time when I meet Bob. What do you mean, I’ll never meet him? I will too. Oh, you want to fight about it?

Dear Diary,

Well, it happened again. I got a second autographed picture of Bob Hope in the mail today. It came from Paramount studio and was in the regular type of envelope that all Bob’s pictures are sent in, just like the last one I got, but I can’t imagine why either of them was sent. I know Betty Lou sent for one a long time ago, and I got that okay. Then I got the second one, for what reason heaven only knows. The only thing which could have caused them to send the third one was the fact that I sent him a birthday card. Just the same, I hope it becomes a habit.

Dear Diary,

And one more Tuesday night bit the dust, or in common English, only nine more weeks until Bob Hope comes back on the air. That will make it about September 22. Actually it will be ten weeks, but first nine more Hopeless Tuesday nights, and that’s what I’m keeping count of. I hope he’s getting in a lot of golf, to rest up both from his past tour of army, navy, and marine bases, and for his coming season on the air Of course, he won’t do anything during the summer except make pictures, play in benefits, etc. He doesn’t need rest for that.

Dear Diary,

Ever since Hedda Hopper started her feature, “My Hat’s Off to You,” I’ve been waiting patiently for her to get around to Bob Hope. So today I cam home from the U. S. O. at 6:30, pick up the paper and read that today Bob Hope gets Hedda Hopper’s “Hat’s Off” tribute. I was so disappointed at having missed it that I wrote her and asked for a copy of it. I doubt if I’ll get it, but there’s certainly no harm in trying.

I saw “Fantasia” tonight. It was a beautiful piece of work. I could see it again and enjoy it just as much.

Dear Diary,

I saw Bob Hope in “My Favorite Blonde” twice today, which makes eight time in all. I have now seen his last eight pictures ( beginning with “The Cat and the Canary”) an average of seven and a half time each. But even as much as that is, it’s not enough. I’ve got to make the average at least eight. To do that I’ll have to see “Road to Morocco” thirteen times, or see some of this old pictures over again. But no matter how I do it, I’m going to do it, or my name isn’t Muriel “Bob Hope Fan Extraordinary” Windham.

Dear Diary,

Betty Lou wanted me to go to the show with her today, but since I’m going to spend the day at the Texas tomorrow gazing at Bob Hope, I told her we’d better wait a few days. After all, I want to save just a little bit of my eyesight for my old age. If I start going to shows every day, that may not be so easy. Anyway, I have to go to the Palace some time next week and see “Fantasia.” I certainly don’t want to miss that picture after all I’ve heard about it.

Dear Diary,

I bought a movie magazine today that had an article by Walter Winchell about Hollywood’s part in the war effort. He said that Bob Hope undoubtedly is the most poplar entertainer among the armed forces. Bob has played practically every army, navy, and marine base in the country, not to mention some in Canada. And believe, that took some traveling and work and sleepless nights, considering the short time he’s done all that in. Besides, he’s done that in addition to all his regular work.

Dear Diary,

I bought a magazine today that contained a letter from a solder. He sad that all his life he’s been an amateur comedian. He saw Bob Hope in person for the first time recently, when Bob was entertaining at the army camp where he was stationed, and worshipped him from first sight. He said that after a good joke he used to ask himself what Bob Hope had that he didn’t have, but that now he knows. Well, soldier boy, I could have to you long ago what Bob has that you haven’t, but I guess it’s better that you found out for yourself. You’ll remember it better.

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Madeleine Carroll and Stirling Hayden have begun a long-delayed honeymoon. Golly, what’s Bob Hope doing to do now. He can’t publicly chase a married woman, as he has been doing with Mady. I guess he’ll have to stick strictly so such gals as Hedy Lamarr, Paulette Goddard, and Dottie Lamour – at least until those fair damsels get hitched (again). Bob may surprise everyone and start talking about his wife. After all, he could have done much, much worse than he did. Mrs. H. is a might pretty gal to have for a wife.

 

Dear Diary,

Another Hopeless Tuesday has passed, which means that ten more Tuesday nights remain before Bob Hope returns to the air. I don’t care if school does start in ten weeks, I wish the time would pass so I could have something to look forward to every Tuesday night.

I had a headache all day today. I don’t have it at the moment, but I still feel a little groggy. I went to a show today and ate some stale peanuts, and they must not have set so well. The show was “Grand Central Murder Case” with Van Heflin. But for him, it wouldn’t have been so good.

Dear Diary,

Mother and I spent the day at the U. S. O. headquarters in the Baker Hotel again today. I just happened to think what I’d do if every well-known solder stationed in Texas came strolling into that place. I imagine I’d faint, since a few of those men are Bill Holden, Burgess Merideth, Buddy Rogers, Lew Ayres, and Jackie Coogan. There may be more that I don’t know about. Only one thing could give me a bigger thrill – for Bob Hope to come in some day to entertain the soldiers. But that is merely a wild area, and I dream entirely too much.

Dear Diary,

The Victory Parade show was replaced tonight by Edna Mae Oliver in a comedy show. I think it’s coming back on, but neither the time nor the station has been announced. Well, I know one thing for sure. If it doesn’t come back on the air, I won’t have to worry about when Bob Hope is going to be on it.

Jimmie Fidler said tonight that while Bob Hope was in Washington, he spike to officials about joining the navy. But since Bob is married, the father of two children, and closer to forty than thirty, they told him he was more valuable as a civilian than a sailor. That magazine article I read some time ago said he planned to join the army.

Dear Diary,

I saw in a magazine article today that the definition of a jeep, according to Bob Hope, is “a malted-milk machine that got drafter.” Really, Bob, I’d never have thought it of you. I really thought you had more pride than that.

There was a tribute to George Gershwin on the radio tonight. Some of the better known participants in the show were Bill Goodwin, Bing Crosby, Dinah Shore, Edward Arnold, the King’s Men, and Paul Whiteman and his orchestra. It was awfully good, and the King’s Men sang the most beautiful arrangement of “Bidin’ My Time” that I ever heard.

Dear Diary,

I got several pictures of Bob Hope today. Most of them were from “The Road to Morocco,” but one of them was taken while Bob was talking to Jack Benny. It was an article about Benny, and the caption said, “Jack listens to Bob Hope, a rival, but a close friend.” I knew that they knew each other, but I didn’t know they were such good friends. However, it must be true, because the article quoted Jack as saying that he enjoys listening to other comedians, and that “Bob Hope kills me.” I hope he didn’t mean that literally.

Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on the Kraft Music Hall tonight. He’s not as good as his brother of course, but he’ll do until another Bing Crosby comes along. I wish Bob Hope could be Bob Crosby’s guest just once before Bing returns. I can just imagine what the two Bob’s would have to say about Bing. If anyone should know all about him, they should be the ones. One of them is his brother and the other is one of his best friends. O-o-o, what they could tell! But I’ve come to the conclusion that Bob isn’t going to appear on any show other than his own!

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Paramount has started production on their big all-star picture, “Star-Spangled Rhythm.” The picture will star just about every big name on the Paramount lot, including Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, Cecil B. de Mille, Buddy De Sylva, Veronica Lake, Paulette Goddard, Dorothy Lamour, etc. Wow! What a show! I wonder what I’m going to do when I start listing Bob’s co-stars for “Star-Spangled Rhythm” in my record book. It’ll take the rest of the page that I’ve already started, if not more, I’ll have to buy another book for his next picture.

Dear Diary,

I heard Bob Hope on the air only three times this month, since he started his vacation June 16. I didn’t see him in any shows during June, (except that short subject at the Kessler) but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. Bob just happened to be “between engagements during June. I intend to see “My Favorite Blonde” four or five times when it comes to the Texas next month, and I can hardly wait for “The Road to Morocco” to be released, but until then I’ll have to be content with thinking about him and looking at a few hundred pictures of him. I have over seven hundred pictures, which is two hundred more than I had in January of this year. I sure hope I can reach my goal of one thousand before the year is out. I’ll have to do a lot of collecting if I make it, but I think I can do it. Anyway, I hope that’s the hardest thing I ever have to do.

Just for the records, I hereby swear off all Red Skelton pictures. I don’t want to help is B.O. (Box Office, not the other kind) rating by seeing another one of his second-rate pictures.

Dear Diary,

Another Tuesday, which means only eleven more Tuesdays remain until Bob Hope comes back on the air. Gee whiz anyway, why doesn’t he make a few guest appearances on the radio so I won’t miss him so much. I can’t remember the last time he was on any radio program other than his own. But then, I guess he’s a pretty busy guy as it is, without going around raising other people’s Crossley ratings. Just the same, I would still like to know when he’s going to be on the Victory Parade show. If he isn’t on it, I’m gonna be mad.

Dear Diary,

On Club Matinee today Micheal Roy was trying to tell jokes, but nobody would laugh at him. Nancy Martin said, “I don’t think you’re going about it the right way. Why don’t you try the Bob Hope technique?” Mike said, “You mean the delayed-action snicker? You tell a joke, say, ‘And now—,’ and then stop and giggle?” He told a joke that way, but the strange part of it was that still nobody laughed. It seems that the “delayed-action snicker” doesn’t work with just anyone.

I had my last dancing lesson tonight. At least it’s my last unless I can dig up four dollars by Friday.

Dear Diary,

George Burns and Gracie Allen were on the Victory Parade radio show today. George asked Bill Goodwin to talk Gracie out of having some delayed wedding photographs made. Bill asked her if she didn’t want to go see Bob Hope’s new picture. She started crying and talking about how badly she wanted those pictures. She got Bill started, and he said, “I just thought you might like to see that new Bob Hope picture. (Sob!) He’s so funny. (Sob!) I just have to laugh every time I think of Bob Hope. (Sob!)” I still think Bob made a big mistake letting Bill Goodwin leave his show. He’s a comedian as well as an announcer.

Dear Diary,

Jean saw Tyrone Power in “This Above All” today. She is now claiming she likes him more than I like Bob Hope. Well, she has to prove it to me. I’ll believe her when she gets seven hundred pictures of him, sees his pictures an average of seven times each, buys every magazine with anything about him in it, and listens to the radio every spare minute just to see if she can hear anything about him. When she does all those things because of Tyrone Power just as I do them because of Bob Hope, I’ll believe her, but until then I shall bide my time to see just how long she will like him.

Dear Diary,

Today was the twentieth anniversary of WFAA, so there was a big article about it in the morning paper. It went back through the years with radio, naming the big names and songs through the years. It stated that “1942 has been a year of Bob Hope and Deep in the Heart of Texas.” There was a big radio program tonight celebrating the anniversary. Little Orvie Anderson wrote the script and did a dramatic sketch about Corregidor. I missed it on account of my dancing lesson, (darn it!) but Betty Lou and I went up to the studios just as the crowd was leaving, and everyone was saying it was the best show WFAA had ever done, and that Orvie really “strutted his stuff” and did some fine acting in the sketch.

Dear Diary,

Tonight was Bing Crosby’s last show of the season, so at the end of the program he called up brother Bob, who will sub for Bing, to help Mary announce next weeks guests. Then Bing, with about two minutes to spare (and he needed every bit of it) said, “Well, so long. Be of good cheer. Farewell. Take good care of yourselves. Love each other. Adios.” Bob, Mary Martin, Ken Carpenter, and John Scott Trotter, in unison, said, “G’bye.” Bing said, “Every year I get the same enthusiastic farewell. I tell you, it’s heartwarming.” Well, even if they won’t miss you, Bing, I will. I hope you and Bob Hope get in several nice solid games of golf during the summer. Bob needs it for that pot of his.

Dear Diary,

I went to the Kessler Theater tonight and saw “Bahama Passage.” There was a short Bob Hope comedy called “Double Exposure.” It was made about five years ago. There were three things that told me that, even though there was no actual date given: (1) it was made for Warner Brothers instead of dear old Paramount; (2) the styles in both automobiles and clothing were about five years old; (3) Bobbie didn’t have quite the polish or technique or finesse or savoir faire (oo-la-la!) that he has now. He looked just like he does now (only minus the little pot) and he used his hands and eyes like he does now (he even had on his ring), but it wasn’t the Bob of today.

 

Dear Diary,

“A Date With Judy” had its airing tonight in place of the Bob Hope show. It certainly seems strange to hear Larry Keating read those Pepsodent commercials and then hear Dix Davis, as Randolph, heckle his big sister, Judy, instead of hearing Bob heckle some female guest star—or vice versa. Golly, but I’m going to miss that big lug (excuse the fond nick-name) every Tuesday night for twelve more weeks.

Since Bob wasn’t on tonight I broke a long-standing rule by listening to the program following the Pepsodent show. But it ain’t Red Skelton, it’s Tommy Dorsey.

Dear Diary,

Mother came back from Washington, D.C. late this afternoon. She and Daddy couldn’t get reservations on the same plane, so Daddy’s coming tomorrow afternoon. Apparently they did find everything as crowded as Bob Hope relates every time he makes a visit to said metropolis. Mother said they slept in a room with no air-conditioning, only one window, and they paid six-fifty a day for it. She also said that there was no such thing as good service in a Washington restaurant. They have neither the time nor the patience.

Dear Diary,

I got a letter from Daddy today. He said he saw “Ship Ahoy” today, and never appreciated Bob Hope so much in his life. And the Leonards, who are avid Skelton fans, got up and left before the show was over because they couldn’t take any more of that same Mr. S. And here I was thinking it was a pretty good picture. Ain’t life peculiar?

I spent the entire afternoon in bed with a headache—such a pleasant pasttime! However, I wouldn’t recommend it as the ideal way to spend a summer afternoon. Between groans I listened to the radio. That helped my head a lot, too.

Dear Diary,

I listened to Bob Hope by short wave for the last time today. I had completely forgotten one of the cutest jokes on last Tuesday night’s show until I heard the transcription this morning. Bob asked Skinnay where he was spending his vacation this year, and Skinnay replied, “I’m going down south where men are men.” Bob said, “Well, shut my mouth, how do they explain you?” I sure hope these transcriptions are continued net year. It’s a big help to tune in on Saturday morning and hear the joke you swore the Tuesday before you would remember, but didn’t.

 

Dear Diary,

I saw “Ship Ahoy” today, and, believe it or not, Red Skelton was fairly good. Don’t get me wrong now. He’s not half the comedian Bob Hope is, and as long as his show is on right after Bob’s I’ll never listen to it, but he was better than I had exspected him to be. (And I still don’t like him.)

I sure had fun at my dancing lesson tonight. I have only three lessons left after tonight unless I can manage to scrape up another four dollars. I’m certainly going to try anyway. I’m having too much fun at those lessons to quit now.

Dear Diary,

Mother and Daddy left for Washington on the three o’clock plane this morning. I hope they don’t have as much trouble finding a room as Bob Hope said he found the last time he was there. He said, “I had a pretty good place to sleep last night, but they should have told me there was a point on top of the Washington Monument.” The time before that he said he had to sleep in the elevator—he said he felt like a yo-yo all night. (It’s a wonder he ever feels like anything but a yo-yo, the way he talks about them.)

Dear Diary,

I got eleven pictures of Bob Hope from “The Road to Morocco” today. From the pictures it looks as thought this one is going to be typical of all the other “Road” pictures—and that ain’t bad, that’s good.

Mother and Daddy are planning to go to Washington, D.C. early in the morning by plane. They were going to drive and take me, but gas rationing caught up with us so I’m staying. Grams will sleep with me, but as far as meals are concerned I’m on my own. I’ve got seven dollars, so I can eat a lot of my meals out.

Dear Diary,

Tonight was Bob Hope’s last show of the season. For thirteen weeks I’ll be completely Hopeless. Bob was broadcasting from a submarine base in New London, Connecticut, tonight. Since this was his last show he followed his regular custom of reviewing the shows of the past season. One of the gags he brought back was among my favorites. It was presented on the first program dramatizing his book. His mother said, “I’ve had children before, but this is ridiculous!” Later he and Skinnay were talking about girls. Skinnay asked Bob what girls were, and Bob said, “You know, those soft things you squeeze.” Skinnay said, “Oh, frogs!”

So long till next fall, Bob.

Dear Diary,

I heard on Hedda Hopper’s program today that it wasn’t Bob Hope’s secretary who is suing him after all. It’s his sister-in-law. She is suing him for $2.900 for secretarial work she has done for him. In reprisal, Bob has filed suit against his brother, Jimmy, who borrowed $14,000 from Bob and “forgot” to pay it back. It sounds like a great big mess to me. For some strange reason I get the idea that I wouldn’t especially like Mr. Jim Hope or his wife—especially his wife. I guess that’s a silly thing to say though, since I don’t know anything about the deal, except what I read and hear on the radio. It might be a different matter if I knew all about it.

Dear Diary,

Skinnay Ennis was the guest on the Fitch Band Wagon today. It was only natural that he talked about Bob Hope a lot. He told a cute story about something that happened in Houston while they were there with the Victory Caravan. It was on Tuesday night, so Bob had to take time out to give his weekly broadcast for the soldiers at Ellington Field. The two auditoriums are in the same building, and separated only by a heavy curtain. So, Bob sneaked all the stars of the Caravan over to his own show before it went on the air. The soldiers got a free show which would regularly have cost several dollars.

Dear Diary,

I listened to Bob Hope by short wave today. I was eating broiled fish at the time, so if anything smelled, it definitely was not Bob. He pulled one cute gag about his nose that I had forgotten since last Tuesday night. It came up in the program for some reason, as usual, and Bob said, “Go ahead. Make fun of my nose, but it sure comes in handy for measuring my three gallons.” He sure had fun with Madeleine Carroll when she muffed her first good joke. I thought the two of them would never stop laughing. Gee, I’ll bet it would be fun to laugh with Bob Hope instead of at him for a change.

Dear Diary,

I got a picture of Bob Hope and Dona Drake from “The Road to Morocco” today. In the same magazine there was an open letter to all the stars of the Victory Caravan. There were only three paragraphs in the whole letter and one of them was entirely about Bob. It mentioned his tour of army and navy camps to entertain more than 100,000 men in the armed services and called it the longest tour any entertainer has ever made donating his services—and on vacation time, too. The letter went on to say that although Bob enjoys an audience and gets as much kick out of the shows as they do, he is making the appearances for free—and for freedom.

Dear Diary,

I heard a cute story about Bob Hope today. It began about ten years ago backstage at a New York theater. Bob predicted then that someday he would be in Hollywood and pictures. The two men with him, both important stars on the stage then, laughed at him and said his profile would keep him out of pictures. The said he’d always be nothing but a small time comedian. Of course, Bob fooled them, and is now one of the biggest names in show business. The other day a reporter was assigned to interview Bob—he was one of those two men. He had to present a studio pass to a cop at the Paramount gates—the cop was the second man!

Dear Diary,

Tonight the Quiz Kids were presented an award by the National Fathers Day Committee, of which none other than Bob Hope is president. Fibber McGee was the head of it last year, and up until tonight I hadn’t heard who received the honor this year.

I got several pictures of Bob from the new Movie-Radio Guide today. There was an article written by Mrs. Hope called “The Truth about Bob Hope at Home.” She said that the truth about Bob Hope at home was that he isn’t at home enough. Hm, come to think of it, he is a busy little bee.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope was at the air corps training station at Mitchell Field, Long Island, tonight. Those boys at the field weren’t the only ones who were flying hight tonight, because Madeleine Carroll was Bob’s guest. Mady kissed Bob once, and Bob stood there stuttering and stammering so long that Mady finally said, “Oh come now, Bob, stop flattering me. You know that kiss didn’t affect you that much.” Bob said, “Oh, no, it didn’t affect me at all. I’m just waiting for my mind to come back from maneuvers!” Since he’s so near New York, Bob said, “I’m glad to be in the metropolitan area again. The metropolitan area—that’s anywhere Fiorello can reach by fire truck.” Bob mentioned something about his little brother, George, being in the army on the west coast now. One down, six to go. I wonder who’s next.

Dear Diary,

I heard on the radio today that Bob Hope has switched the location of his benefit golf match from New York to somewhere in New Jersey. It seems that the Little Flower wants to hold a big parade on that day, and he doesn’t want anything to detract from the crowd. So, little Bobbie, being big-hearted, agreed to shift scenery. Wasn’t that sweet of him?

Betty Lou and I took our second dancing lesson tonight. I enjoy those lessons more and more every time. I think I’ll take an advanced course after my eight lessons are over. By golly, I may learn to dance yet! (Optimistic, ain’t I?)

Dear Diary,

I think I’m going to like Jack Benny’s summer replacement. Each week a complete radio show will be presented by the government. Bob Hope and the gang will be on some time soon. That is, if he ever gets back to Hollywood. He’s been gone since April 30, and probably won’t return until about June 20. He’s doing the government a lot of goo, I know, but I wonder how his wife and two children feel about it. He might as well be in the army, as far as their seeing him is concerned. Speaking of the army, I wonder what his plans are concerning same. I’m just wondering if that magazine article was really true.

Dear Diary,

Well, I did what I said I’d do. I listened to Bob Hope twice as hard this morning to make up for missing his short wave broadcast last Saturday. I do believe his show is funnier the second time that it is the first. I seems to improve with age. (Unlike other shows I could name, but won’t.) Bob discovered that in Washington there are ten girls to every male. He said, “To a soldier, that’s too many girls; it’s just enough for a sailor; but for a marine, it’s rationing!” When Bob asked Vera Vague if Bing Crosby was anxious for him to get back, Vera said, “No, I talked to Crosby, and he said you could just send it to him on payday.”

Dear Diary,

I got dozens of pictures of Bob Hope today. Well, I got ten pictures of him, plus two articles about him. Most of the pictures were from the Victory Caravan, and they showed him in the Mussolini costume he wore in his act part of the time. I had seen so many pictures of him in that particular costume and I had heard so much about the act that I could hardly wait to see it. Then that little so-and-so had to go and change his act. I didn’t get to see him in the uniform after all.

Boy, did I do something unusual for me tonight. I took the first in a series of eight dancing lessons. Me, of all people!

 

Dear Diary,

This is the proudest day of my life! I learned to whistle with my fingers! As long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be able to do it. When I heard Red Ferrington do it two weeks ago, I wanted to learn more than ever. The climax came tonight. I got my bicycle back from the repair shop today (Gee, it’s purty!) and Jean was riding it around the block. I wanted to take a short spin, so I thought I’d whistle at her and try to stop her. All of a sudden I was whistling though my fingers. I wonder if Bob Hope can do that. He certainly ought to be able to, after all the practice he’s had on Hollywood and Vine. (if you know what I mean—and I think you do!)

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Sam Goldwyn has bought the title of Bob Hope’s book, “They Got Me Covered,” and will change the title of the new Bob Hope picture from “Washington Comedy” to They Got Me Covered.” I can’t imagine what that’s got to do with the picture, but I’ll bet it proves to be a big drawing attraction for the picture. (As if Bob weren’t enough!) That’s the second time the title has been changed. It was originally “Treasure Chest.”

Well what do you know! I found out today that I’m a genius (or freak). I can write upside-down backwards with both hands at the same time.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope was in Quantico, (Is that the way to spell it?) Virginia, tonight, at a marine base. He’s staying in Washington, so naturally he talked about it all evening. He pulled that gag that he used on the Victory Caravan about finding out what D.C. stands for. Tonight he said, “Darned Crowded,” but those aren’t the words he used May 11. They were just a tiny bit stronger than that. Bob didn’t have a guest tonight, but won’t he be happy next week! Madeleine Carroll yet! Bob was talking to Frances Langford about the girls in Washington and Frances said, “Bob, you should be able to get a date with some nice girl here.” Bob said, “Yes, I did, but every time I got close to her, she’d move away. It was just no soap.” Fran: “How come?” Bob: “No soap!” Bob was talking about Crosby and said, “I should have given him another lift. Bing isn’t used to such speed.” (See preceding page)

Dear Diary,

On Hedda Hopper’s feature, “My Hat’s Off to You,” she took her hat off to Bing Crosby. She gets closer every week, but if she doesn’t hurry up and take her “hat off” to Bob Hope, I’m going to get mad. (I guess I’ll get mad.) I often find it rather difficult to realize that not everyone likes him as much as I do. However, I know she does like him some, because I’ve heard her say several times what a swell guy she thinks he is. And speaking of Bing, as I was at first, Hedda said he was in an automobile accident and was treated for minor injuries to his lip. He was released from the hospital after packs were applied.

The last and best was the imitation of the presidents of Vitalis Dandruff Remover and Fitch Shampoo companies. While they talked the kept brushing their collars and shaking their coats, then Bob turned around and Bing brushed his coat and Ging turned around and Bob brushed his coat. Bob said, “Got much time?” Bing replied, “Oh, about 60 seconds.” Bob said, “Sixty seconds? Well some on!” and they began scrubbing each other’s heads. Bing called Bob “Chisle chin” as he left the stage, and Bob yelled, “So long Dumbo! Don’t go too fast or you’ll take off, with those ears. (By the way, Bing was actually dressed up!) Bob said that when he was in Washington, D.C., he found out what the D.C. stands for. Damned crowded! When Pat O’Brien walked out and said, “Hello, Texas,” I knew he was talking to me because he called me “Texas” last summer. Pat did several dramatic sketches and then did an Irish song and jig, and for an encore he and Bob did the jig together. Bob said, “Well, whatta you know! The’ve even got an Irish Conga!” (I’m running out of room, so will continue elsewhere.)

Bob introduced Cary Grant as one of Hollywood’s handsomest, best dressed leading men. Cary walked out on the stage and said, “Why, thanks, Bob. It’s sweet of you say that, because I have always thought of you as one of Hollywood’s handsomest, best-dressed men.” Bob said, “Do you really think so, Cary?” Cary replied, “Look, I learned my lines, I read my lines. Now don’t try to confuse me!” Bob said, “You’d better watch out there, Grant, or I’ll hide your curling iron tonight.” Cary said, “Yeah, and ditto with your girdle.” Then Bob started sulking and said, “Is that any way to treat me after all I’ve done for you? After all, what would you have done if I hadn’t loaned you my underwear today when you sent yours to the laundry?” Cary said, “You’re right, Bob. I’m sorry. It was mighty swell of you to lend me your underwear, but every once in a while the lace tickles.” Bob walked up to Cary and started feeling the material in his suit and examining it (a dark blue pin-striped suit). He finally said, “Isn’t it remarkable the designs they can print on Kleenex?” For once Cary had no reply.

When Bob first introduced Bing and started off the stage so Bing could sing, Bing yelled at him and said, “Oh, by the way, Hope, your laundry came back today. They refused it.” Bob threw him the dirtiest look I ever saw and walked the rest of the way off the stage. For Desi Arnaz’ second number he used a big conga drum about three feet long, and shaped something like this:line drawing of a conga drum that looks a little like a waffle cone. Bob brought it out to him and said, “What’ll you have—chocolate or vanilla?”

Naturally Bob talked about the California weather. He said, “This Texas weather is grand, but it just can’t compare with California weather. The weather out there is so invigorating that the caretakers have to walk around the graveyards all the time saying, “Come on now, fellas, lie down!”

Once Bob started across the stage carrying an open umbrella. Cary Grant started from the opposite side with an umbrella under his arm. Bob turned around, looked at Cary, held out his hand, shrugged his shoulders, closed the umbrella, and walked off without a single word.

What a show!

Dear Diary,

After Sunday School today  I came home and put on my jeans and did nothing but lie around the house the rest of the day. In fact, I did so much of nothing that I gave myself a headache.

Jack Benny went off the air tonight. I’m glad too, because Daddy always plays his radio so loud I have to listen and I don’t like him. I feel sorry for Fred Allen though. He’s going to have to start preparing his own program again, because he won’t be able to repeat Jack Benny’s. It seems that everybody goes off the air before Bob Hope and come on later in the fall. Bob still has three shows yet before his vacation (?) starts

Dear Diary,

John Barrymore has been in a hospital for the last week or ten day with various illnesses. The morning papers reported that he died last night, due to several complications.

I did the silliest thing this morning. I forgot to listen to Bob Hope by short wave. I was up and dressed at 9:00, and I knew there was something I was supposed to be doing, but I couldn’t remember what it was for the life of me. Tonight at 10:30 I thought of it and was I mad! Imagine! Me, of all people, forgetting a thing like that. I’ll be it never happens again though, and I’ll listen twice as hard next week to make up for today.

Dear Diary,

I guess I should be thrilled, but I’m not. Dorothy Lamour was in town today selling war bonds and stamps and I went down and bought 75¢ worth from her. She looks just like she does in pictures, which is not bad, but not good. The only reason I cared to see her was because she knows Bob Hope. Some recommendation!

Speaking of Bob, as I usually manage to do, I read a rather startling article about him in a magazine today. I don’t know whether to believe it or not, but there’s no need to worry about it, because I’ll know when, and if, it happens. It said that after Bob’s eight week tour of army camps, he would go into the army himself, in the Moral Department. I said that the government may or may not decide that he should take time out for one or two pictures a year.

Dear Diary,

Bing Crosby was a lot better tonight than he was last week. One of his guests was a badminton champion who graduated from Pamona college. Bing asked him how he liked Pamona, and the boy said he thought it was the finest town and the finest college in the country. Bing said, “Is that right? well, I’ll have to tell Bob Hope about that.” Bing is always making fun of Bob for making fun of Pamona, so I guess he just couldn’t resist the temptation. I remember he said something about it last August 23, a week before my jaunt to Del Mar, to a contestant from Pamona. He said he like Pamona no matter what Bob Hope said. (I’ll bet Bob mever mentioned it more than five times.)

Dear Diary,

I saw Jerry Lester and Skinnay Ennis in “Sleepytime Gal” tonight. Jerry is an ugly little mutt, and as corny as they come, but there’s something about the guy you can’t resist. I can’t imagine what it could be, but, nevertheless, it’s there. He certainly hasn’t got looks (like Bob Hope has), and he hasn’t got the ease and self-assurance Bob has, but there’s no getting around it – Jerry Lester has got what it takes to become a first-class comedian.

Bob Hope wrote an article in Liberty this week called “The Sky’s the Limit.” As you might guess from the title, it’s about flying in general and the army and navy air corps in particular. I had no idea he had written the article, so I got a nice surprise plus a cute picture of Bob.

Dewar Diary,

Bob Hope was broadcasting from a naval air corps replacement center in Atlanta, Georgia, tonight. If his show has been any better in the last two or three months, I certainly don’t remember it. He was really swell tonight. Bobby Jones was his guest tonight, and you can imagine the confusion—Bob and Bobby. Jones said, “Bob, there ought to be some way to clear up this confusion. Haven’t you some nickname that people call you?” Bob replied, “Well—yes, I have.” Jones said, “Well, what is it? Can’t I call you that?” Bob said, “And remain friends? No!” Bob told Bobby that he’d like to join the air corps while he was there, and to prove he had hair on his chest, Bob opened his shirt. Bobby Jones said, “I’ve seen more fuzz that that on a piece of Kleenex.”

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Bob Hope will go to Chicago June 14 on a bond selling drive. The article said the goal is one billion dollars. That’s a lot of mulah, but if anybody can sell that much, Bob Hope is the man to do it. Carole Lombard sold over two million dollars worth in one day, and Dorothy Lamour has approached the billion dollar mark in a tour over the country (which will bring her to Dallas Friday.) But if Bob sets out to sell a billion dollars worth of bonds in two or three days, I’ll bet my last red penny that he reaches that goal. I saw another article in the paper that said Bob will play a Red Cross golf match June 13. Oh that man!

Dear Diary,

I heard today that  Bob Crosby will replace brother Bing on the summer show. That’s certainly an improvement oer last summer’s KMH master of ceremonies – Don Ameche. Bob Crosby was the guest maestro on the Fitch Band Wagon today and he and Toby Reed talked the situation over. Bob said he might replace him for the summer, but he could never take his place. To prove it, he read one of his recent fan letters which asked him for a picture of Bing. Fine thing. That sounds  like a letter Bob Hope might write. But Bobby would reverse the procedure. He’s write to Bing and ask for Bob Crosby’s picture.

Dear Diary,

Gee, it’s nice to be able to hear Bob Hope twice a week instead of just every Tuesday. I’ll admit he doesn’t some in very plainly over the short-wave station, but then who does? Besides, who can afford to be choosey when that guy’s concerned? I’ll take him like I can get him and like it. I often wonder why it is that when I say something about him in my diary, every day, it’s “Bob Hope this” and “Bob Hope that.” It seems that after three years I’d know who I was talking about by just calling him Bob. After all, I’m the only one who ever reads this thing. (I hope) Are you there, dear family? Are you enjoying yourself? (Hot stuff, huh?)

Dear Diary,

Our Sunday School class went on a hayride tonight. I didn’t take a boy, since I don’t know any boys I care enough about to ask on a hayride. But despite the fact that there’s no boy I would ask, I didn’t say anything about a certain man with pretty brown hair, great big brown eyes, a ski-slide nose, and a chisel-chin. (But as Bob Hope himself would say, his nose does come in handy for spearing fish.) Besides Bob, there are several other people I wouldn’t exactly have minded taking, but show me someone who would have been more fun, and I’ll eat this whole diary, raw.

Dear Diary,

Well, until today my list of “crushes” included Bob Hope (over and above all others), Bing Crosby, Ray Milland (long ago), Van Heflin, and Jerry Lester (?). But today somebody else popped up. Betty Lou and I went to the Majestic today to wish Horace a happy birthday. We went to the stage-door after the show to wait for him, but everybody came out except Horace. However, we didn’t mind so much, because Red Ferrington made up for it. He passed once and said something to us, then he came back later and stood around and talked to us. When he wasn’t talking, he was singing or whistling so loud that we had to hold our ears. Once he started singing something about “They laughed when I sat down at the piano” and I added “They didn’t know you were from the finance company.” He looked at me in a very strange manner, and in a low basso voice he said, “Very good, my dear, very good.” He rattled on like that for about a half of an hour, and I liked it!


(newspaper clipping)

Ferrington’s Satisfied

Red Ferrington, comedian on the Horace Heidt Treasure Chest program which will be heard at 7:30 p.m. Tuesday over WFAA, got a picture bid but elected to stay with Heidt. Ferrington was one of the main attractions of Heidt’s theater shows in Texas.

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Hedda Hopper’s newest short subject is booked for early release. That’s the one which deals with the program Bob Hope gave for 5000 sailors at Long Beach, despite President Roosevelt’s taking his air time for an address. Hedda had the show filmed and put it in her short subject, Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood.

Kay Kyser gave Horace Heidt and Dallas a pretty good plug tonight. One of the questions was: “What ochestra leader, now at the Majestic Theater in Dallas, Texas, features tripple-tonguing trumpets?” The man answered Horace Heidt immediately. Speaking of Horace, I decided Saturday that, next to Bob Hope, he has about the purtiest shoulders in the world.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope broadcast from New Orleans tonight. He made me slightly mad, because he said something about Houston and Ft. Worth, but not one word about Dallas. First he said, “I entered a male beauty contest the other day to pick Mr. New Orleans. The judges pointed to one man and said, ‘This is for St. Louis, Mo.’ They pointed to another and said, ‘This is for Houston, Texas.’ Then they looked at me and said, ‘This is for men only.'” Ft. Worth came in when Bob killed a big swamp mosquitoe and something heavy dropped. Frances asked what is was, and he said it was carrying the mail to Ft. Worth. Larry Keating said, “Bob Hope walked into a New Orleans restaurant and smelled the food.” Bob: “Ah!” Larry: “Then he saw the beautiful waitresses.” Bob: “Ah!” Larry: “Then he saw the prices on the menus.” Bob: “A-a-a-gh!”

Dear Diary,

Well what do you know? Here it’s been a week since I saw Bob Hope and the rest of the Victory Caravan, and it doesn’t seem as though it’s been half that long. I can still look back and remember little details (looks thrown around among the cast, words treated likewise, etc.) that I couldn’t remember a week after I saw Bob the first time. However, don’t get me wrong. I still remember a great deal about that first show, and I don’t suppose I’ll ever forget all of it. The two things in particular that I’ll never forget are the stunts in which he had Sam Goldwyn on the floor and when he walked around Bruce Cabot, snarling at his full-dress suit. Oh that guy!

Dear Diary,

Bert Lahr was Charlie McCarthy’s guest today. Naturally he made me think about the Victory Caravan, and when I think about the Caravan, I think about Bob Hope. (Didn’t you know that was coming?) Bert had just been kicked by Charlie’s kangaroo, and he was there complaining. He said, “There I was, walking along the street, happy and contemptable, —” That guy kills me. And that singing of his is enough to kill anyone.

I was alone most of the day today, because Mother and Daddy went to Hughes Springs. I had a pretty good time, though. I have a gallon of home work, but I’ve done everything but homework all day today. I a ba-a-a-d girl.

Dear Diary,

Betty Lou and I saw Horace Heidt and the gang at the Majestic today. Horace got out in the middle of the audience and made a big hit with everybody – including me. I’ve liked him a long time, but he really sold himself to me today. He and Bob Hope are good friends. Bob was one of the very few who knew about Horace’s secret marriage before it was made public.

I heard Bob by short wave this morning. He said quite a bit about Texas. He said that when he got off the train, one guy applauded five times, and was departed as an alien. As usual he talked about how tough Texas are. He said one fellow was hanged for putting a wet spoon in a cafe sugar bowl. He really made us sound rough, but that’s what everyone thinks anyway, so do we care?

Dear Diary,

I tuned in to Hedda Hopper’s program today just in time to hear her say “—Bob Hope.” I think she was talking about the Victory Caravan, because she went on and said a little about it, but not another word about Bob. There’s nothing that makes me madder than to hear somebody talk about Bob Hope and me completely ignorant of what they’re saying. I guess it’s just my feminine curiosity. Speaking of curiosity, I think I’ll write Bob and ask him about that letter I picked up that he threw out of the bus Monday night. I put a few pieces together and something puzzles me. I want to know if it started “Hello, Bobbie,” or “Hell, Bobbie.” I couldn’t see all of it.

Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on KMH tonight, because Bing and Bob Hope are still “charitying,” but Bing will be back on his program next week. On the other hand, Bob Hope will continue his tour of army camps and other volunteer service work until the end of the season. Gosh, his poor family! By the time the season is over it will have been over a month since he left California. He must miss them a lot, because last Tuesday he closed the show with “Good-night, Linda,” and he very seldom does that. In fact, I think it’s about the fourth time he’s ever done it. Pretty soon Tony will be getting old enough to know who’s speaking to him on the radio and Bob will direct his “Good-nights” to him.

Dear Diary,

The resulte of Movie-Radio Guide’s Star of Stars poll came out today. Bob Hope was Star of Stars last year, but he was second to Don M. Neill this year. However, Bob was voted the best comedian for the second time. As long as Bob is people’s favorite comedian, it doesn’t matter much about the Star of Stars part of it. The Bob Hope show was fifth in the catagory entitled My Favorite Program. I knew Bob was boted Best Comedian, because the award was presented on the show last night, but I really exspected to see Bob voted Star of Stars. I rather hate to admit that that guy on right after Bob every Tuesday is getting very popular. He was 6 in Star of Stars, 9 in My Favorite Program, and 3 in Best Comedian. I’ll betcha he’ll never passes Bob in any catagory.

Dear Diary,

Bob Hope broadcast from Ellington Field, Houston, tonight. His guest was Joan Bennett. Bob pulled several gags tonight that he used last night, but tonight was their first time on the air. One of them was, “I was having a swell time kissing all those beautiful girls on the Victory Caravan, until Charles Boyer pulled a nasty trick. He told them he was Charles Boyer.” Bob entertained the navy last week and the army this week, so he said, “You know, there’s really not much difference in soldiers and sailors. When a man whistles at a girl and she slaps their face, that’s a sailor. But when a man whistles at a girl and she throws her arms around his neck—get me her phone number, will you?” His whole show was about Texas, but I’ll have to wait ’til Saturday to tell about it, when I hear the show by short wave.

Dear Diary,

And I thought I enjoyed myself Feb. 11!! I have never seen anything to equal what I saw tonight. I exspected Bob Hope to look and act rather sick, but he didn’t look as if he knew the meaning of the word. The program lasted 3½ hours and I was weak by the time it was half over. Bob was never funnier than he was with Bing Crosby tonight. They first gave an imitation of the presidents of the Pepsi Cola and Coca Cola companies. Bing was Pepsi and Bob was Cokey. They started at opposite ends of the stage, trotted across, met at the center mike, and burped in unison. Next came an imitation of the presidents of the Pepsodent and Ipana companies. Bob said, “You be Ipana. I want to keep my job.” The same routine, except they meet in the center, shake hands, and begin gargling. Next it’s two Ft. Worth business men. After they shake hands they start digging feverishly in each other’s pockets. Next came two farmers. Bob came in scraping his feet, and Bing milked his thumbs instead of shaking hands. (See Special Data)

Dear Diary,

There were simply gobs of pictures of Bob Hope and the other Victory Caravan stars in the papers today. There were big write-ups and all sorts of articles on the show. The stars will arrive at about two o-clock tomorrow, and their only public appearance outside of the show tomorrow night will be the very short parade from the train station to the hotels, because they have to rehearse and get a little rest before the show tomorrow night. I hope Bob goes to bed when he gets to the hotel. I don’t want him any sicker than he already is.

Dear Diary,

I saw Bob Hope in “My Favorite Blonde” for the fifth and sixth times today. I imagine that will be the last time until it comes to the Texas or Rosewin. I’m going to be too busy resting tomorrow to go to any show, even “My Favorite Blonde.” I’ve got to get in plenty of rest so all my wits will be functioning Monday night for Mr. Hope and his most illustrious companions. Golly, won’t Monday ever come? I guess it will, because I felt this way twice before this. Once almost two years ago, and once not three months ago. But both those days came, and so will next Monday.

Dear Diary,

I found out today that I’m not the only one who realizes Bob Hope isn’t as well as he might be. At the beauty shop this afternoon I heard several people talking about how bad he sounded last week. (Only bad in a physical way, of course.) When I got back I went up to Jeanne Wade’s and she started talking about that very same thing. Gosh, if he gets sick, I’m going to be sicker than he is. He does too much good in this old joint called a world to be confined for any amount of time. Besides, if he dit sick, he feel bad, and dat wouldn’t be good. But he don’t do it. I hope!

Dear Diary,

Bob Crosby took Bing’s place on KMH tonight so Bing could join the Victory Caravan, headed for Dallas. Bob said at the end of the program that unless he got a nasty letter from Bing, he would be on the show again next week.

In the meantime Bing and Bob Hope did all right in Chicago. They made over $2,000 in their golf match, although they had to call the game at the ninth hole to rehearse for the show that night. The show that night drew in $90,000. Most of it was from admission tickets, and the rest came from the sale of kisses by the stars. One woman paid $500 for a kiss from Bob Hope. Oh, for $500!

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that Bob Hope and Bing Crosby took time out in Chicago to play a golf game, the proceeds from which go to a local Chicago fund. Gee, it would be swell if they did that in Dallas too. But I doubt if they will, because, after all it was only three months ago that they did that very thing here in Dallas for the Red Cross. It really doesn’t make a lot of difference, though, because I’ll see them Monday night, golf or no golf.

I got two or three pictures of Bob today. The magazines they were in contained reviews of “My Favorite Blond,” and you should hear the way the all praise Bob!

Dear Diary,

Golly, Bob Hope was swell tonight. The show was broadcast from the Great Lakes Naval Training Station tonight, and next week he will broadcast from Ellington Field, Houston. That will be the second in a series of seven trips to army, navy, and marine stations throughout the country. The guy is so sick he can hardly talk, but I’ll bet no one gets him in bed. Once he laughed pretty hard, and it must have hur him because he said, “I hope my agent gets 10% of this throat.” About the Caravan he said, “I was sitting between Merle Oberon and Olivia de Havilland on the train.” Claudette Colbert said, “Yes, but I noticed you didn’t say much.” Bob replied, “Well, I couldn’t. Every time I opened my mouth, smoke came out!”

 

Dear Diary,

I saw something in the paper tonight that I don’t know whether to believe or not. It said that Bob Hope’s secretary is suing him for $2,900. It seems that when she started working for him he promised to pay her a reasonable salary, but that for two years she had received only $12.50 a week. If her claim is true, all I can say is why in heaven’s name didn’t she quit two years ago? I’m sure of at least one thing – Bob didn’t chain her up every night so she couldn’t leave, and I know jobs aren’t so scarce that she couldn’t have gotten another secretarial position. So, as I said before, why didn’t she quit two years ago?

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that beginning next Tuesday Vera Vague will become a permanent member of the Bob Hope show. I kinda like her, but I don’t think the show can take another member. There are so many on it now that they hardly have time to finish the program every week.

Next week Bob will broadcast from the Great Lakes Training Station, and the week after that he will broadcast from Ellington Field, in Houston. (He would just miss Dallas for his program.) He will be in Dallas a week from tomorrow and in Houston the nest day for his show. He will also be in Houston Wednesday for the army-navy relief show. Why couldn’t he have picked Dallas for his two-day stop instead of Houston?

Dear Diary,

I saw in the paper today that beginning next Tuesday Vera Vague will become a permanent member of the Bob Hope show. I kinda like her, but I don’t think the show can take another member. There are so many on it now that they hardly have time to finish the program every week.

Next week Bob will broadcast from the Grea Lakes Training Station, and the week after that he will broadcast from Ellington Field, in Houston. (He would just miss Dallas for his program.) He will be in Dallas a week from tomorrow and in Houston the nest day for his show. He will also be in Houston WEdnesday for the army-navy relief show. WHy couldn’t he have picked Dallas for his two-day stop instead of Houston?

Dear Diary,

I saw Bob Hope in “My Favorite Blonde” twice today. It’s an A-1 picture. In fact, it’s the best picture he’s made since “Louisiana Purchase” (which, by the way, was his last picture). I’m not going to try to make any comment on the picture, because every columnist in the United States has already praised it to the high heavens.

Betty Lou saw it with me today, and I think she and Jean are going with me again tomorrow. I doubt if we’ll be able to get Jean to sit through it twice, but Jean or no Jean, I’m going to see that picture twice tomorrow. That will still make only four times, so I’ll have to be sure and see it at the Tower next Saturday and Sunday.

Dear Diary,

Boy, I really hit the jack-pot today as far as pictures of Bob Hope are concerned. From merely three magazines and a newspaper, I got over twenty pictures of him. Is that cooking on the front burner or is that cooking on the front burner! At the rate I’m going now I’ll soon have one thousand pictures of him. In fact, I wouldn’t be very surprised if I had already just about reached the goal I have set for the end of the year. (Me and the government.) And by the end of the year I may have doubled my production. (Again it’s “me and the government.) I guess I’ll have to take time out and count the things some day

Dear Diary,

I haven’t seen Bob Hope in any pictures this month, but that will be more than made up for, beginning next Saturday, and I do mean by seeing “My Favorite Blonde” six or eight times. Not only that, but I’ll see him in person a week from Monday. And that, boys and girls, ain’t hay! I heard Bob on the radio four times this month. He was on a China Relief show April 11, and I heard him on his own show three times. I would have heard him on his own show four times, but of course, President Roosevelt had to take his air time last Tuesday for his report to the nation, in which he said almost nothing which had’t been said a thousand times before he said them. Anyway, the President wanted to speak, so who am I tell him when he should do it. He must not like Bob Hope though, because every time he speaks on Tuesday, it’s always at nine o’clock. Actually he does it because that’s a convenient listening time for most people and ensure he’ll have plenty of listeners. I saw in the paper that President’s Roosevelt’s rating was as much last week as the combined ratings of Bob Hope, Jack Benny, and Fibber McGee usually are.

Dear Diary,

Bing Crosby had several guests tonight and one of them was the Texan that President Roosevelt talked about last Tuesday. Another guest was Gene Tunney, so they naturally talked about sports. Gene asked, “What’s your favorite sport, Bing?” Bing replied, “Oh, I caddy for Bob Hope.”

I also learned on Bing’s show tonight that he will be here May 11. Up until now his appearance wasn’t certain, but just a possibility. But tonight, when he announced next week’s guests, he said Bob, the “hep” Crosby, would take his place next week. He didn’t say anything about the tour, but in Bing’s language that means he’ll be here. In fact he didn’t actually say he wouldn’t be on the show next week, but I’ used to his way of saying things by now.

Dear Diary,

Hedda Hopper informed me today that all Bob Hope’s work wasn’t in vain after all. She said, “Because of President Roosevelt’s address to the nation last night, you missed the Bob Hope–Elsie Janis show, but I didn’t, and the whole thing will be in my newest ‘Hedda Hopper’s Hollywood’ short subject. The show was given exclusively for 5000 sailors stationed at Long Beach. Elsie Janis was the sweetheart of the A.E.F. in the last war, and Bob Hope is the greatest entertainer of those men’s sons.

“She’s a great gal, that Elsie Janis—and Bob Hope is no slouch, either.”

Besides seeing the short subject, I may get to hear it Saturday morning if it’s sent to the armed forces by short wave. If it wasn’t recorded last week, I guess I’ll just have to wait.

Dear Diary,

Well President Roosevelt did it again. He talked on the radio at nine o’clock tonight, so naturally Bob Hope wasn’t on. And after he had postponed his departure on the Victory Caravan tour just to give his show tonight at Long Beach. Elsie Janis was scheduled to be his guest. Bob may just save tonight’s script and give the same show next week, but he’ll be in the east and his guest, Elsie Janis, will be in California, unless she decides to go with the caravan, so I don’t guess Bob will do that. I don’t mind so much the fact that I didn’t hear Bob tonight, but I do mind the fact that Bob had to put in hours of work and energy on this week’s show and then still have to charter a special plane to Washington.