Dear Diary,
Bob entertained the Waves at Millegeville, Georgia, tonight, and I mean he really entertained. I haven’t heard him bette in months. He started with “Each of these Waves, whether her name be Mary or Patsy, is buying War Bonds to blow up another dam, Nazi.” Only he wasn’t too particular whether or not anyone noticed that comma. The whole show was devoted to the sale of War Bonds, with no commercials. They pulled one gag about me. At least I’d love to think Bob had me in mind at the time. It was supposed to be a War Bond auction; and Bob said, “I’ll give a little kiss to anyone who buys a $25. War Bond, for $50 I’ll give them a big kiss, and for $100 I’ll make it a real big kiss.” Wen said, “Here’s someone who’ll pay $10,000.” (Smack). Bob: “Well, how was that?” Colonna: “Okay, but give me back my mustache.”
Dear Diary,
In Bob Burns’ Arkansas Traveler play tonight the Traveler was trying to find quarters for three WAVES on leave. He was asking them where they were from, and one of them answered, “Pomona.” Bob B. said, “Pomona?” She said, “Yes, haven’t you ever heard of it?” He replied, “Yes, I’ve heard Bob Hope talk about it.” I thought by now everyone had forgotten the way Bob used to make fun of Pomona. He hasn’t done it since his trip to Alaska, where, on a very precarious plane journey, he discovered the pilot was from Pomona! I’m not sure, but I imagine that Bob pledged to stop making fun of that little California town, at least for the duration.
Dear Diary,
Bob was at the Waves camp in San Diego tonight. Herbert Marshall was his guest, and they did a clever sketch imitating each other. Bob gave his impression of Bert calling on a girl, the Bert retaliated with his impress of Bob doing likewise. In the middle of Herbert’s impersonation Bob broke in and said, “If that’s the way I sound, I’m glad I’m never home to tune me in.” Since Bert is English Bob started talking about England. He said, “You know, I was born in England. That’s where I met my first girl friend. She was standing with a group of girls on a famous London corner.” Her said, “Piccadilly?” Bob replied, “I’ll say I did.” Then he added, “I put that in for all the boys and girls listening. After all, why shouldn’t they suffer the same as the grownups?”
Dear Diary,
I saw a list in the paper today of the ten best-dressed women in uniform. Boy, what won’t they think of next? Which reminds me. Bob Hope said last night that next week the show will be broadcast from the Des Moines, Iowa, camp for WAAC’s. That will be the first time a big program is broadcast from the WAAC center. It’s about time too. After all, they’re soldiers, even though they may not actually see active service. Which reminds me again. I’m going to join either the WAAC’s or Waves if we’re still in war (heaven forbid) by the time I’m of age. I may even do it anyway. I imagine they’ll still be in existence after the war.
Muriel Windham's Diary 