Dear Diary,
I read today that Bob and ZaSu Pitts do a jitterbug number in “Let’s Face It.” I can see right now that I’m going to enjoy that picture a great deal.
Jack Benny and company was on the Camel Comedy Caravan tonight in the second of five special programs. Ken Niles, Wen’s younger brother was the announcer. At one spot, Benny said, “Come in now, Wen Niles.” Ken said, “Aren’t you mistaken? The Hope show was on last week. I’m Ken Niles. ” Benny said, “Well are you Wen Niles’ brother?” Ken replied, “I don’t know. I have so many brothers. There’s also Ben, Yen, Lynn, and Titicitum.” How’d he get in there?
I also got a picture of Bob and Dot today.
Dear Diary,
Bob was at Fort Jackson, Columbia, South Carolina tonight. He had a guest band leader, Bob Allen, and things got a wee bit confused for my feeble brain once or twice there. Bob H. Said, “Here’s Bob and his band playing ‘You’ll Never Know,’ with Bob doing the lyrics. Take it, Bob ” or something on that order. After it was over, Wen Niles said, “Thanks, Bob. ” Who knew which Bob he meant? Bob pulled several jokes about Don Bingo, who won $27,000 at Belmont today. Bing will be able to hold that over Bob’s head for months now, just as he did when Don Juan II won a race in California last year. Which proves that Crosby does have a couple of good horses.
Dear Diary,
Bob entertained the Waves at Millegeville, Georgia, tonight, and I mean he really entertained. I haven’t heard him bette in months. He started with “Each of these Waves, whether her name be Mary or Patsy, is buying War Bonds to blow up another dam, Nazi.” Only he wasn’t too particular whether or not anyone noticed that comma. The whole show was devoted to the sale of War Bonds, with no commercials. They pulled one gag about me. At least I’d love to think Bob had me in mind at the time. It was supposed to be a War Bond auction; and Bob said, “I’ll give a little kiss to anyone who buys a $25. War Bond, for $50 I’ll give them a big kiss, and for $100 I’ll make it a real big kiss.” Wen said, “Here’s someone who’ll pay $10,000.” (Smack). Bob: “Well, how was that?” Colonna: “Okay, but give me back my mustache.”
Dear Diary,
There was an article in the paper today about Bob’s coming tour of armed forces, and it stated that he would take along the whole gang including his announcer, Ken Niles. Surely Ken and Wen are related, with names like that, but I wonder if they’re twins.
Dear Diary,
Bob was in top form tonight. The show originated from the merchant seamen’s training base at Catalina. Merle Oberon was his guest. One of the cutest things on the show was the commercial. Wen Niles sang it to the tune of “Moonlight Becomes You,” and Bob broke in every other word with something like, “Okay, now use your other tonsil,” or “I always wondered what because of Bobby Breen.” After Wen stopped singing, and talked for a while, then he and Bob did a duet. Wen then presented a letter from Bing Crosby saying, “Your singing is as good as Hopes’s jokes.” Then Wen added, “Isn’t that wonderful ? I’m so happy. Now I can sue him for libel.” Bob has so many good jokes tonight I can’t think of all of them. In fact, I can’t think of any of them.
Dear Diary,
Bob Hope was at Lowry Field near Denver, Colorado, tonight. As usual, he had a little trouble with Vera Vague. He told her she was the only girl he’d seen who was boy-crazy enough to tear a radio apart to get an Henry Aldrich. She replied, “You dear boy! When are they going to file that point off your head?” When Wen Niles was explaining that there is a slight shortage of Pepsodent, Bob screamed, “You mean we’re ou of the stuff? We’ll soon be off the air! I can’t stand it!” After Wen told people not to buy more Pepsodent than they need, and to use it carefully, Bob said, “You remember when we used to try to sell it?” Bob sang “Hello, Mom” as a solo tonight. Naturally I enjoyed it because I seldom get to hear him sing on the radio. However, I’ve heard him in better voice. But the I should talk, but I can’t Bad cold, you know.
Dear Diary,
Bob Hope was at an army camp in Indianapolis tonight. He was better than he has been for several weeks. He helped Wen Niles with the commercials, and he was cuter at that than anything else, because he did a lot of ad-libbing. (At least it sounded like it). Bob would interrupt Wen every few seconds and say something like, “What was the name of that stuff again?” We said, “Pepsodent.” Bob said, “Oh yes, now I remember. I knew I’d heard the word somewhere before.” Wen explained that solders are using 1/4 of all Pepsodent made now so there might be a temporary shortage at drugstores once in a while. When he said that about soldiers, Bob said, “Really? Well bless ’em, bless ’em!” About the temporary shortage he said, “You mean our paste has taken a powder?”
Dear Diary,
Bob Hope was at an army base in Jefferson, Missouri, tonight. He called himself “the poor man’s Wendell Willkie” tonight, but if I had my choice, I think you know which one I’d choose. Bob talked about “The Road to Morocco” a lot tonight, because it had just been previews for the boys there in Jefferson. Wen Niles managed to get in a mention of the fact that there’s a review of the picture in the new Look magazine.
Tonight’s broadcast was what might be considered (only by me) a birthday present from Bob to me, since I’ll be sweet (?) sixteen day after tomorrow.
Dear Diary,
Bob Hope really pulled a good one tonight. Wen Niles was talking about the girl in the new Pepsodent ads, and he asked Bob if he’d seen her picture in Collier’s. Bob said, “Yeah, and I wouldn’t mind seeing the rest of her in Esquire.” All of a sudden Bob groaned, and said, “I didn’t mean to say that. I had it penciled in here. See? I’m sorry. honest.” I guess that’ll teach him not to add those sly little remarks to the script if he doesn’t intend to use them. His guest tonight was a sailor since this is navy day and he was at a naval air base. The did a short skit about naval aviation. A voice over the loudspeaker said, “Report to the field, and wear your parachutes. That is all.” Bob: “We’ll catch cold. That’s enough.” At the end of the show Bob said a few words about Ralph Rainger, writer of Bob’s themed song, who was killed Saturday.
Muriel Windham's Diary 